I Don’t Care About Your Birth Choices

I don’t care about your birth choices. For example, here are several things I don’t care about:

• Whether you’re cared for by an OB-GYN or a midwife
• Whether you’re planning a hospital birth or a homebirth
• Whether you intend to have a medicated or non-medicated birth
• Whether or not you prepare a birth plan

When it comes time for your labour and birth, here are more things I don’t care about:

• Whether your labour starts on its own or you are induced
• Whether or not you follow your birth plan
• Whether your birthing noises sound mostly like “Ommmm” or mostly like “SWEAR WORD SWEAR WORD SWEAR WORD”

“What kind of heartless robot doula is this?” I can almost hear you asking yourself.

Actually, I care SO much. About you. 

As your doula, I care about you. Specifically, I care about you feeling good about your choices. I care about you looking back on your birth with positive memories. Birth matters! It really does. Your birth experience will influence your recovery, your postpartum period, your parenting, your mental wellness and more.

That said, I don’t believe it’s the perfect execution of an ideal birth plan that matters most. I think what matters most is that you have the support you need as you traverse the unknown. As your doula I will help you and your partner to navigate the information presented to you by your care providers and to connect with your inner voice in order to make choices for your birth. I will be a shoulder to lean on when emotions (positive, negative just alllll the emotions) are running high. I will encourage you, validate you, and celebrate with you. I will use my best tricks to make you feel as comfortable as possible.

And hey. In birth, as in life, things don’t always go the way we planned. Sometimes that means the things we thought we cared about (“My birthing playlist features Bach’s Cello Suites”) weren’t actually very helpful  (“On second thought, put on Super Bass and turn it UP”). Sometimes it means letting go of what you thought was “best” in order to do what’s safest or most manageable for you and/or your baby. If you change your mind about something you thought you wanted or you have to adapt to an unexpected turn in your birth, I won’t skip a beat – I’ll switch tracks right along with you. If in the end you’re disappointed, I’m disappointed too. I can’t make your hurt feelings go away but I will be right there to support you. I will make sure you’re reminded of your strength.

It’s my mission to provide unbiased, wholehearted support. Unbiased because that’s my job as your doula. Wholehearted because, truly, I’m not a robot! I care so much about you.