What I mean when I say “unbiased”

I mean I don’t value one kind of birth over another.

I mean I respect your prerogative to change your mind.

I mean I’m not attached to a “birth philosophy”. My philosophy is “Your body, your baby, your birth.”

I mean I won’t automatically assume you’re a tragic victim of your care provider if you experienced unplanned medical interventions. You’re a grown woman; maybe you decided on a new plan and you were totally cool with it.

I mean I won’t advocate for you. Because grown woman.

I mean I sympathize with you if your memories of your birth are painful and I will sit with you in that pain rather than talk you out of your feelings.

I mean I understand that sometimes pregnancy and birth trigger past trauma that we didn’t know we were carrying and it is so real.

I mean it’s okay that you sometimes have no idea what you’re doing.

I mean I’m aware of what’s beyond my scope as a doula and I will redirect you to a professional if need be.

I mean I won’t assume you’re planning to breastfeed.

I mean I don’t expect you to want a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).

I mean I don’t need you to share everything with me. I’m here for you when you want me to be here for you.

I mean I know how to support you if you choose an epidural.

I mean I don’t care if you’re crunchier than kale chips. I can do that too.

I mean I don’t pity you because you’re scared.

I mean nothing you do or say could disappoint me.

I mean I already know that you are capable, tough, and amazing.

I mean I’m not emotionally invested in your choices because I’m a professional and I consider that my job.

I mean I am right there behind you no matter what happens. And you will feel loved and supported – unconditionally – right from the very first time we meet. I mean that I will do everything I can to see that when you look back on your birth you will feel strong and proud.

Because that’s what doulas do.