Pregnant at the Office: The First Trimester

If you’ve worked in an office during the first trimester of a pregnancy, you know it has its challenges.

You’re going through SO much, both physically and emotionally. Maybe you feel like crap, maybe you’re bursting at the seams with excitement; in any case, you’re probably not quite ready to share the news. What little energy you can muster up is devoted to keeping all of this under wraps at work.

Here’s a day in the #pregnantlife, office job style. Does any of this sound familiar?



8:15 a.m.
– First I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning and then I couldn’t find clothes to disguise my bloated abdomen so now I’m rushing toward the train. Why am I so out of breath? My #fitpregnancy dreams have officially flown out the window and I’m only 7 weeks along.

train station

Whyyyyy so many stairs?

 8:30 a.m. – AHHHHH WHAT IS THAT GROIN STABBING FEELING…does pregnancy cause appendicitis? *Consults Dr. Google*…what the hell is round ligament pain?

9:30 a.m. – I’m scared to drink coffee because of what my Aunt Jill said but I don’t think I can survive the work day without it. Oh screw it, my doctor told me two cups a day is fine. And I’m so, so tired.

drinking coffee
Please forgive me, my blueberry-sized fetus…mama needs her coffee.

10:30 a.m. – In the middle of an office conversation, along comes the urge to barf. Oh John from three cubicles over, I can’t chat about that project right now. FOCUS…you can do this. Grab a saltine cracker from your desk. Chew, chew, swallow..keep it together. Are people starting to notice that I snack on saltines all day, every day?

saltines

Oh, glorious soda crackers. You bore my tastebuds in the best ways possible.

12:15 p.m. – Nervously shifting away from the microwave in the lunch room because I’m afraid it’ll cook my baby. Yes, I *know* this is impossible but pregnancy does weird things to your imagination.

1:30  p.m. – Got a call from the lab, they need me to come in for an additional bit of bloodwork later this week. Weekday appointments only, of course. What kind of excuse am I going to come up with this time? So many appointments. I’m starting to look like a seriously shady employee.

2:30 p.m. – The dreaded afternoon lull. Yep, there’s absolutely no way I’m going to make it through the rest of this day. Looks like it’s time for an afternoon power nap in the washroom. Sitting on the toilet, slumped over the toilet paper dispenser is when I feel most like a feminine goddess.

washroom
This looks like as good a place as any to take a nap.

5:30 pm. – After work cocktails, okay let’s do this. I’ll arrive early and talk to the server about my “situation,” ask him to bring me a sparkling water when I order a gin and tonic. It’s really too bad that I still feel like barfing. And let’s be honest, the conversation is dull and I’d prefer the gin.

meeting

“Don’t puke, don’t puke, don’t puke”

7:30 p.m. – Why isn’t anyone on this subway offering me a seat? Don’t they know I’m with child? Oh right, I don’t look pregnant at all yet. This kind of sucks. My long day and empty stomach are catching up to me now. Everything hurts and I’m all out of saltines. This is so hard. I’m so glad I’m going to get a baby out of all of this. *Cue eruption of emotions* My BABY! I’m not crying, you’re crying. *Blinks through tears while baby brainstorming baby names and browsing tiny bowties on Etsy for the rest of the ride home*


There you have it. It’s not glamorous, but it is awesome. Did your first trimester at the office sound a little like this?

 

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